I read an article today in Mail Online about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Who knows if it is accurate? Time will tell.
The word is that Angelina Jolie may be suffering from clinical depression as she works endlessly, a mother of six children in only a few years and apparently wanting to adopt another. She has been a case of ‘ non-stop running and rushing ‘ following the death of her mother three years ago. It is reported that Brad Pitt told her at a dinner in New York early in January that she needed to get psychiatric help or he would leave her.
It reminds me of the last few days with Carl, my neighbour. He went to see Prince William last Thursday at Government House, passed out and was taken by ambulance to hospital. He refused to drink extra water before leaving home and it was a warm day. He left his home at 3.00pm and it was not until 9.10pm that he rang me to say where he was.
I spoke on multiple occasions to the hospital and care organisations the next day. Carl has become depressed over the last week and has gained 5 kg in weight in the space of 7 days. He says he doesn’t ‘care any more’ and he is finished with dieting. His life is one long haul; he is ‘ now in the third week of the new year ‘, nothing is changing, nothing is finishing and he is so angry that ‘ things have not finished ‘ when he was told ‘ they would be finished by now ‘.
I asked the hospital to put him into respite care for a while so that he could have a break from the isolation of living at home on his own.
Apart from his increasing depression, he is a diabetic and a major splurge of increased weight puts that aspect of his health at risk.
He doesn’t do well living alone; he needs social stimulation and structure. His social stimulation comes from my visits which have been twice a day since 16 December when he was discharged from hospital. His structure has been what I have provided for him by returning in the evening to see what he had been eating and how he is going. He does not have anyone to have coffee with or to visit outside his home. He is poorly connected in the community by choice. His outings now consist of walking to the shops and eating considerable quantities of food to dampen his anger and feelings of frustration.
Carl declined the hospital’s offer of respite care. He declined their offer of immediate community support in his home. I spoke to them for the umpteenth time and asked them to put post-acute care measures into his home and they agreed to arrange for a physiotherapist to visit his home three or four times from now; to check his mobility and his ability to go out safely into the community.
Clinical depression frequently involves people working at endless pace, trying to run from feelings, trying to stay on the move in an almost desperate manner as in the case, allegedly, of Angelina Jolie. Symptoms of clinical depression include over-eating, over- working, over-drinking and over-activity in many possible directions.
Mental illness and psychological pressures are great relationship-breakers.
It is hard to stay engaged and supportive when one party is going off on a senseless tangent without the insight or genuine regard for the other party’s needs or advice.
I advised Carl that I will no longer visit him and give him the support that I have been giving over these last weeks.
It is pointless. It allows him to avoid making decisions about his own needs. If he thinks he can cope at home alone , it is time for a reality check.
If this Mail Online article is accurate, then I understand the position of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, at least as far as her alleged clinical depression is concerned.
Mental illness is a hard gig; for the sufferer and for the people around them. It’s a matter of putting your own cards on the table, finding professionals to assist and stepping right out of the circle until the sufferer makes his own call for help. Closely watching and observing in the meantime.
I have had Depression on and off and Schitzophrenia (sp?) for most of my Adult Life. My troubled past; suffering from a Fractured Skull just prior to my 5th Birthday, being Sexually Abused at the age of 6 and my Father’s death in the NI Troubles when I was 10; had manifested into these conditions. I rarely socialised when I was growing up; just the occassional Club when I was at Uni; and eventually found a ‘Friend’ called the Internet.
Then, like a bolt from the blue, my Mum had a Car Accident and suddenly developed Parkinson’s. My World was turned upside down, my Brother became withdrawn and Gran thought the worst. After Mum died 2 Years ago my Depression became serious, as I rarely wanted to get out of the Bed. At that stage I rang Samaritains and had contacted my GP who perscribed Non-Drowsy Anti-Depressants; to facilitate my Driving.
The Insanity with Food continued afterwards. Then, 9 Months ago, I was recommended to attend OA Meetings. At first I thought it was simply a food matter, but when I started applying the principles things suddenly turned for the better. Now my Brother does errands for Gran; unthinkable even a few Months ago; and I’m getting on with my life.
There was a ‘Lifeline Sampler’ story alerting the dangers of being ‘Supermom’; like Angelina; and look after yourself from time to time. I can vouch for that.
Angelina needs help, we all do.
Firstly Des, I do not think schitzophrenia is a correct diagnosis for you, thats the first I have heard of you having it. You don’t give me the signs of schitzophrenia.
Georgie, I can tell that you are steaming mad at Carl, and I don’t blame you. He should carry water always in the hot weather. Don’t give up on him Georgie – you have both come way to far for that. He needs other people around all the time, otherwise I can understand his wanting to “give up”. Oh please don’t give up on him. Make him accept the respite care, or can you accept it for him and when he gets it he will want it all the time.
Terri,
I have booked an Aged Care Assessment for Carl. It takes weeks of waiting to have an assessment by the ACAS people. They represent the ‘key’ to Carl’s immediate future. The appointment is next Monday. They have the ability to make recommendations resulting in immediate help for Carl. He needs this week to see for himself if he can cope or not on his own.
Usually, my turn-around from feeling worn out with Carl’s needs is about 24 hours.
This time it has been 48 – 72 hours.
That says it all.
I can’t meet his needs for care.
I am absolutely exhausted.
The final straw was when the doctor at the hospital on Friday rang me to discuss a change in Carl’s medication; after I had made about 8-9 phone calls during the afternoon to arrange care, advise Carl’s lawyer, speak to the hospital and so on. Carl had refused all offers of help in spite of my discussions with him at length to the effect that he cannot live at home alone.
He is deteriorating each day. His increasing weight alone is evidence of that.
The doctor at the hospital said to me on the phone:
‘Carl told me that he is ready and dressed and keen to go home now.
He said his friend will come and pick him up!’
Terri,
I had schizophrenia when I was younger. Hearing negative voices in my head. Also had flashbacks of moments in my Childhood, many of whom made me feel pitiful.
Terri,
I took the two hounds for a walk to the park and joined a neighbour with his dog along the way. Had a most enjoyable time chatting about all manner of things and hearing his views on different matters.
It makes me realise how much I have isolated myself in caring for Carl.
The primary concern has been the legal matters and the implications arising from that. The legal matters have taken a down turn which means more work for me in looking for evidence that will support Carl.
However, it is time now as we have protected him as best we can.
It is time for me to live my life in a healthy way. I have more than made my contribution and I need to return to my own needs and my own future, still with one eye on Carl, but in a much more balanced way.
Yes Georgie.
I had my Spanish exam last night. The Teacher said I did very well. There is an advances class starting next Monday, but I’m not going there as I fear I’m burning out.
I’m planning on going to more Quizzes in order to Socialise more. I had a great time in the two Quizzes I attended last week and hope for more of the same. Also I need to put more focus on the OA meetings I’m organising. Attending another Class could be a distraction.
Yes, Des,
Don’t overload yourself. Good thinking.
Have enough energy in reserve to stand on your own two feet;
your brother as well.
Keep moving in the direction of pacing yourself and not overdoing things.