I always enjoy reading Dr Robert Lefever’s blog.
I find his comments succinct and honest. He somehow expresses how I feel about things and the world around us.
I can relate to what he is saying.
He writes in his blog of 4 December 2009 about the difficulty in ’surrender’ in terms of the 12 Step Programme:
I still find surrender to be the most difficult aspect of all the Twelve Step programme. I am a fighter. I take whatever challenges are thrown at me. However, I have to acknowledge that self-will can be very damaging and that I, along with everyone else working a Twelve Step programme, need a Higher Power than self. I have done a huge amount of reading on the subject recently but I still struggle with the concept of surrender. I know that there are a lot of things upon which I depend for help from other professionals – but I don’t surrender myself to them: I still maintain my judgement and caution. Giving myself over entirely to a Higher Power over my will and my life is a huge demand. However, I am sure that I should ask for help only in those areas of my life in which I cannot help myself. ”
This is one concept in life that I have no difficulty with; that is, the acknowledgement of a force beyond myself; a force of nature that is entirely separate from myself, my life and what I can make happen. I have long accepted that I am indeed powerless in many respects.
Ten years ago, seventeen trees were planted in the area behind this house. In the last year or so, these trees have grown and thrived and now tower over the courtyard outside. They have transformed the space and now arch heavily over the paving and climb into the sky; their branches and leaves curl inwards joining strands of climbing roses in a web of green leaves.
I see the force of nature and it’s beauty and power. I look out over soaring green trees in parks almost every day. Towering, broad trees, more than a hundred years old that are forces of nature to have survived and thrived throughout severe drought in this land.
I know nature is a force of creation; a higher power at work; something that I can only marvel at; something beyond myself.
I acknowledge a Higher Power, without any doubt at all.
However, my self-will has been instrumental to my survival. To give up my self-will would be to limit the essence of how I have survived thus far. My self-will is a necessary tool.
It is a question of judgement as to when to subjugate my self-will; when to let my Higher Power guide me for my own greater good. It is a conscious decision.
Self Will is disastrous. Mankind has a distinct capability of becoming egotistic and believing he; or she; doesn’t need a Higher Power.
What really bugs me are these wars over Religious Conflicts. If we worship the same God then surely we are all equal, right? The Hunter instinct in Man makes him greedy and megalomaniac.
Many people in power had character defects. Bill Clinton was a Sex Addict, Bush craved power and possession; as well as having a Drinking problem when he was younger; whilst Thatcher survived on just a few Hours sleep. The powerful had defects just like the rest of us.
I’m lucky to have discovered OA when I got the chance.
I have not had a problem with surrender. I think it is easier for a person like myself who believes in God, and has a grounded spiritual life. In surrendering our alcoholism to God we are still making decisions and acting as we think we should, but God is guiding us. What can be wrong with that. I totally know that God is my creator and yours, He can take our sufferings from us, heal us, give us peace of mind, body, heart and soul. The only thing God asks of us is to love Him and our neighbour. Not a lot to ask of us. I have given my life and all I do to Him. I still have to make the decisions in life, but trust God to guide me in the right direction, which He always does. It might not turn out the way I want, but it is always the best way for me personally.