Today

From all of us:

Thank you for our new MRN!

This pic gives a good indication of the size of the heaviest hailstones on Saturday.

Other pics include two cars in a store car park in Shepparton in country Victoria:

Melbourne CBD:

Taken from an article published in Australia’s  ‘ The Sunday Age ‘

Belinda Phillips: “I guess I probably saved about $100 a weekend.” Photo: Ken Irwin

A beer at a barbie, a glass of red before bed, cocktails with the girls – alcohol is the cornerstone of a typical social calendar. But as part of Febfast, a month-long initiative aimed at redefining Australia’s drinking culture, about 7200 people swore off the booze, trading the obligatory chardonnay for a humble ginger beer.

The Sunday Age followed three Febfasters: Victorian parliamentary secretary for public transport Brian Tee, ”Oarsome Foursome” rower James Tomkins, and PR manager Belinda Phillips.

Ms Phillips was the only one of the three to remain alcohol-free for the month. Not an easy feat for a woman whose working life revolves around wining and dining clients.

”I do think there is a kind of undisclosed pressure on people to be leading the way [by drinking], especially if you’re hosting. But I don’t think it really mattered at all that I wasn’t having a glass of champagne at an opening, and just a mineral water.”

After hours, Ms Phillips has found that giving up the grog hasn’t slowed her fast-paced social life. Whether it’s meeting with girlfriends for a catch-up dinner or going to parties, she says she has learnt ”that I can continue to be a social person without always needing to have a drink in my hand”.

But the month wasn’t without its challenges, and she concedes that ”breaking the habit of having a beer with my boyfriend” and turning down Friday night drinks was ”tricky”.

She relished the opportunity to seek out alternative ways to de-stress, such as early morning yoga and jogging.

She has even saved some extra cash from her self-imposed sabbatical, and plans to go overseas with her partner with the money saved. ”We’re thinking Thailand … I guess I probably saved about $100 a weekend, when you think about it, being able to drive and not drinking as much.”

Particularly resilient during Febfast – she didn’t take a single leave pass for the month – Ms Phillips admits there was a slightly bitter aftertaste to her first drink come March. ”It was a bit anti-climactic, and I even felt a bit naughty,” she says.

For Tomkins, the prospect of abstaining from alcohol for a month seemed like a walk in the park – in his rowing days, he would stay clear of alcohol for up to three months. But Febfast demanded an Olympic effort just to resist the daily temptation of a quick beer with a mate.

”It’s been a real eye-opener – in a social setting, you just drink without even thinking about it,” says Tomkins.

Although he admits to taking his second time-out pass during a conference for work – he is a senior account manager for an investment management firm – going dry, or at least, damp, has taught him some valuable lessons. ”I’ve learnt that you don’t actually have to have a drink.”

Labor state politician Brian Tee isn’t the only one who benefited from his alcohol-free February – with recharged energy stores, the 41-year-old parliamentary secretary, says that keeping up with the kids has never been easier.

Outside of the family home, Tee is confident that the Febfast message is also having a positive effect on the broader public, crediting the initiative with a newfound consciousness of our drinking culture.

”[Febfast] has just really raised awareness of how pervasive alcohol is. It is something we take for granted, out of habit rather than really thinking about it,” he says.

This month, Tee has been taking the lessons of Febfast one step further, making time for gym sessions, and maintaining Sunday to Friday as a weekly dry zone.

Febfast founder Fiona Healy says the response this year was overwhelming and more than $500,000 was raised for substance-abuse charities.

She attributes the rise in participation and donations to a heightened awareness of the effect of alcohol on people’s lives.

Melbourne is in the process of recovering from a freak storm, yesterday,  Saturday 6 March.

There were hail stones as big as golf balls in different parts of the city

Damage has been done to cars and roofs and fences.

A champion racehorse at Flemington racecourse was ’spooked’ by the  force of the storm and took fright. He broke his neck and had to be destroyed.

This hapless racegoer managed to still clutch onto his tinnie as he took shelter from the driving hail.

Working horses in the city plowed through floods of water as tourists scattered for cover

Commuters ran for cover as tram tracks were flooded and cars ground to a halt

Major arterial roads welled with torrents of water

A man out for a picnic with his two kids covers their faces as the storm strikes

Melbourne has had a short reprieve this morning.  It is time to go out and do what needs to be done in the way of repairs or cleaning up debris of leaves or trees.

We have storms predicted again this afternoon.

Mary, Crown Princess of Denmark is Australian. She was born and bred in Tasmania,  the  southern island state of Australia.

She is married to Frederik, Crown Prince of Denmark, heir apparent to the throne of Denmark.

Mary is of great interest to Australians as she is of humble origins.  She went to live in Sydney, met a prince and married him and became a princess, thus living  her life in a fairytale to end all fairytales, it could be said.

Mary and Frederik are soon to live in a new home as a Danish journalist writes:

“PRINCESS Mary and Prince Frederik have decked their new home in murals, writes Bjarne Aleksander

It has stood for 250 years and undergone several renovations, but the latest makeover of Danish Crown Prince Frederik and Princess Mary’s new home has gaudy clashing with grand.

Body:  Completed in 1760, the Frederik VIII Palace in Copenhagen retains original features such as Corinthian columns, chandeliers and mosaic-tiled floors.

Now, though, many rooms are decorated with modern artworks and motifs ranging from the psychedelic ’60s to images of Bambi.

The revamp began in 2004 with the palace, which hadn’t changed since the 1930s, getting updated heating and water systems and new energy-efficient windows.

A huge, ornate central staircase linking all three floors has also been built.

The 1660sq m gardens have been remodelled and a 40m swimming pool added.

But the biggest change is the murals and paintings introduced to the ground and first-floor rooms, including one showing a map of Australia and a larger one of Tasmania, Princess Mary’s former home.

The royal couple worked closely with the 10 artists commissioned to paint the unusual murals.

The $4.5 million project features artists such as Kathrine Aertebjerg, who decked out the new serving kitchen in a nursery scene-like hunting theme, with deer, squirrels and owls.

The vestibule reception room features a reinterpretation of the world by Jesper Christiansen, with the countries and continents in unusual locations.

But it is album artwork from Soundgarden, Led Zeppelin and Powderfinger in the world mural that has puzzled many visitors to the palace, which recently opened for public tours. A royal spokesman explained that the bands are favourites of the royal couple.”

A truly modern royal home.

Tiger Woods;  one of the greatest golfers in the world today.

We know now that he has been living his life under the extreme pressure of addiction for some years.  His carefully constructed public persona shattered when he had a car crash not far from his home in Florida some three months ago.

A long string of women have come forward claiming to have been having affairs with him.  Many have evidence;  text messages by the hundreds in some cases.  Some have been paid prostitutes and some have believed it was a case of true love and that they would be with him  for the rest of time. A few claim to have been having an affair with him for years;  an extraordinary number of women appear to have been having affairs with him  in the same time frame.  Multiple partners and multiple affairs while he has been married to his wife who is the mother of his two children.

Tiger Woods sought treatment from Pine Grove in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, a centre of behavioural health and addiction services.

Gentle Path is a programme at Pine Grove for those suffering from sexual addiction, relationship addiction and sexual anorexia.

Housing and the majority of treatment are provided in cottages on the Gentle Path campus, located a few miles from the main Pine Grove facilities.

Sam Lister wrote an article in TimesOnline on 22 January 2010 titled  “Sex out of control: the warning signs and treatment of addiction. ”

The article talks of warning signs that have been drawn up by Dr Patrick Carnes, an American sociologist and counsellor who is also Executive Director of the Gentle Path programme at the Pine Grove Behavioural Centre.

An excerpt from the article:

“The warning signs identified by Dr Carnes include a feeling that your behaviour is out of control, being aware that there may be severe consequences, an inability to stop your behaviour in spite of knowing these consequences, persistently pursuing destructive/high risk activities, wanting to stop or control what you are doing and taking active steps to limit your activities, using sexual fantasies as a way of coping with difficult feelings or situations, and needing more and more of the sexual activity in order to experience the same level of high.

The addict may experience intense mood swings around sex, and spend increasing amounts of time planning, engaging in and recovering from sexual activities. He or she will also neglect important social, occupational or recreational activities in favour of sexual behaviour — which for many addicts …… leads to problems with their finances and professional lives.”

The final two paragraphs of the article outline the treatment approach and the last sentence says it all:

“Woods’ counselling process at Pine Grove will involve identifying and changing the behaviour that is painful and damaging. Treatment strategies include talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), meditation and other counselling workshops, in groups or face-to-face. Treatment is similar to other addictions, which in Britain will often involve courses of CBT.

The history of treatment is difficult to track, but it parallels greater understanding of behaviour, neuroscience and the brain. Over the past century sex addiction, as with many other compulsions, has been reassessed and what was once addressed, and punished, as a moral problem is now attended to as a medical one.”

Such an extraordinary number of women and constant urgent contact from early morning and at all times of the day and night has always suggested something more than a cheater and a womaniser. His degree of compulsivity suggests addiction and the illness of this; the disease of addiction.

Tiger’s apology last Friday was remarkable for the expression and anger of his mother who was sitting in the front row:

Kultida Woods was described in the NY Daily News on Saturday as “‘barely controlling her rage as she watched her son apologise for his cheating ways, body experts said.”

“She was extraordinarily tense. I would say it was anger” said Patti Wood,  an Atlanta-based body language specialist . “Her mouth was downward and pursed very tight like she was holding back very negative emotions”.

Lillian Glass,  Beverley Hills-based communications expert commented in the same paper:

“  ….. in Kultida’s Thai culture, saving face is very important.

She basically lost face,” Glass said. “She was clearly heartbroken. She was miserable.”

Kultida said her son would learn from his mistakes and that his return to Buddhism would ” make him a much better person.”

Hugely challenging times for Tiger Woods.  He has the illness of addiction and he faces the anger of his Asian mother for his betrayal of her cultural values in his public standing as her son.

Tiger Woods is working to rebuild his life.   He deserves our compassion and our understanding.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.

Sunday 14 February.

As the story goes,  Angelina has bought Brad a 200 year old olive tree for Valentine’s Day.

She bought it from the The English Garden Centre in Valbonne, France which is near their home there.

According to a one reference, the olive tree has a long history of symbolism. “This tree possesses a wealth of symbolism – peace, fruitfulness, purification, strength, victory and reward.

In Ancient Greece the tree was sacred to Athene and the first olive, which sprang from her quarrel with Poseidon, was preserved as a treasure behind the Erechtheum.

In Jewish and Christian tradition, the olive is a symbol of peace and it was an olive-branch which the dove brought back to Noah when the Flood was over.”

May Angelina and Brad’s olive tree flourish and grow strong.  May it be a symbol of their evolving love for each other and for the considerable good they do in the world.

May all of us who live with different problems in our families and in our lives in general  remember to look for the positives.

Life is complex.    It is about supporting one another and helping each other grow as people.

It is about finding new coping skills, new ways to enjoy life  and making our way forward together.

I read an article today in Mail Online about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  Who knows if it is accurate? Time will tell.

The word is that Angelina Jolie may be suffering from clinical depression as she works endlessly, a mother of six children in only a few years and apparently wanting to adopt another. She has been a case of ‘ non-stop running and rushing ‘ following the death of her mother three years ago.  It is reported that Brad Pitt told her at a dinner in New York early in January that she needed to get psychiatric help or he would leave her.

It reminds me of the last few days with Carl, my neighbour.  He went to see Prince William last Thursday at Government House,  passed out and was taken by ambulance to hospital.  He refused to drink extra water before leaving home and it was a warm day.  He left his home at 3.00pm and it was not until 9.10pm that he rang me to say where he was.

I spoke on multiple occasions to the hospital and care organisations the next day.  Carl has become depressed over the last week and has gained 5 kg in weight in the space of 7 days.  He says he doesn’t ‘care any more’ and he is finished with dieting.  His life is one long haul;  he is ‘ now in the third week of the new year ‘, nothing is changing, nothing is finishing and he is so angry that ‘ things have not finished ‘ when he was told  ‘ they would be finished by now ‘.

I asked the hospital to put him into respite care for a while so that he could have a break from the isolation of living at home on his own.

Apart from his increasing depression, he is a diabetic and a major splurge of increased weight  puts that aspect of his health at risk.

He doesn’t do well  living alone;  he needs social stimulation and structure.  His social stimulation comes from my visits which have been twice a day since 16 December when he was discharged from hospital. His structure has been what I have provided for him by returning in the evening to see what he had been eating and how he is going. He does not have anyone to have coffee with or to visit outside his home.  He is poorly connected in the community by choice.  His outings now consist of walking to the shops and eating considerable quantities of food to dampen his anger and feelings of frustration.

Carl declined the hospital’s offer of respite care.  He declined their offer of immediate community support in his home. I spoke to them for the umpteenth time and asked them to put post-acute care measures into his home and they agreed to arrange for a physiotherapist to visit his home three or four times from now; to check his mobility and his ability to go out safely into the community.

Clinical depression frequently involves people working at endless pace, trying to run from  feelings, trying to stay on the move in an almost desperate manner as in the case, allegedly, of Angelina Jolie.  Symptoms of clinical depression include over-eating, over- working, over-drinking and over-activity in many possible directions.

Mental illness and psychological pressures are great relationship-breakers.

It is hard to stay engaged and supportive when one party is going off on a senseless tangent without the insight or genuine regard for the other party’s needs or advice.

I  advised Carl that I will no longer visit him and give him the support that I have been giving over these last weeks.

It is pointless.  It allows him to avoid making decisions about his own needs.  If he thinks he can cope at home alone , it is time for a reality check.

If this Mail Online article is accurate,  then I understand the position of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, at least as far as her alleged clinical depression is concerned.

Mental illness is a hard gig;  for the sufferer and for the people around them.  It’s a matter of putting your own cards on the table, finding professionals to assist and stepping right out of the circle until the sufferer makes his own call for help.  Closely watching and observing in the meantime.

I always enjoy reading Dr Robert Lefever’s blog.

I find his comments succinct and honest.  He somehow expresses how I feel about things and the world around us.

I can relate to what he is saying.

He writes in his blog of 4 December 2009 about the difficulty in ’surrender’ in terms of the 12 Step Programme:

This is one concept in life that I have no difficulty with;  that is,  the acknowledgement of a force beyond myself; a force of nature that is entirely separate from myself, my life and what I can make happen.  I have long accepted that I am indeed powerless in many respects.

Ten years ago,  seventeen trees were planted in the area behind this house.   In the last year or so,  these trees have grown and thrived and now tower over the courtyard outside.  They have transformed  the space and now arch heavily over the paving and climb into the sky;  their branches and leaves curl inwards  joining strands of climbing roses in a web of green leaves.

I see the force of nature  and it’s beauty and power.  I look  out over soaring green trees in parks almost every day. Towering, broad trees, more than a hundred years old that are forces of nature to have survived and thrived throughout severe drought in this land.

I know nature is a force of creation; a higher power at work; something that I  can only marvel at; something  beyond myself.

I acknowledge a Higher Power, without any doubt at all.

However,  my self-will has been instrumental to my survival.  To give up my self-will would be to limit the essence of how I have survived thus far.  My self-will is a necessary tool.

It is a question of judgement as to when to subjugate my self-will; when to let my Higher Power guide me for my own greater good. It is a conscious decision.

In the year 2000,  a former Premier of Victoria, Australia,  sought to establish an organisation to create  a national coordinated approach towards the prevention, treatment and care of those suffering from depression.

This man’s motivation in beginning this work was a close family member who had been diagnosed with depression.

The organisation, ‘Beyond Blue’ has vastly impacted the Australian landscape and has assisted those suffering from depression to declare their condition and to seek the help they need, with far less stigma than before.

Resources and funding for depression-related initiatives have all hugely thrived under this former premier’s leadership as he became the human face of ‘Beyond Blue’.

If someone well-known and well-connected presents a concept and  business plan and has the support of key community figures, the government is far more likely to listen and back such a project.

If the partner of a Prime Minister makes a decision to support a cause,  it will more than likely result in action and progress given access to the PM’s connections, public profile and media machine.

However, in the case of Kathy Hilton, a former welfare teacher at a high school in Melbourne, it well demonstrates that a single person can achieve a great deal.  This sole individual established networks and connections to address homeless and disadvantaged children through her own initiatives and  resources.
Clearly a worthy cause once people were made aware of the scope and need by an attractive, genuine and credible figure.

What does it take for our homeless to be assisted ?
Homelesss adults through addiction and mental illness and now families due to economic pressures ?

In this country,  it would appear that it will take a figure such as Jeff Kennett who founded ‘Beyond Blue’ or a Sarah Murdoch who supports breast cancer, of Rupert Murdoch family fame,  or a Kathy Hilton who founded Ardoch, to passionately drive a project to help the homeless.

There needs to be a human face to promote the needs of the homeless in this country.

It would appear that our government will respond to a groundswell of public opinion.

And only then,  it would seem.